The Truth About Boundaries

Of all the B-words that gets a bad name, boundaries has got to be nearing the top of the list. Why? Because, in my experience, many people have a misinformed view of what healthy boundaries can to to preserve their relationships, energy, mental health, financial security, and well-being. I touch upon this in my book, For She Who Leads, but the real guru has to be Dr. Henry Cloud.  He pioneered the discussion about boundaries and put out a book defining it further in just about every circumstance, from Boundaries for Leaders to Boundaries in Dating and even Boundaries with Kids. See, something for everyone here.

Prior to working in the talent and coaching industry, I spent a lot of time working with young people and parents. Helping them to understand that boundaries keep us safe was an important part of my work, and engaging people at the level of encouraging them to set realistic boundaries continues to be part of my coaching practice. Ever the self-improver, boundaries have been part of my life for a long time, and I’m always looking at ways to balance clear boundaries and expectations with empathy and flexibility. 

One of the things that I try to be clear about are my boundaries related to time, work, and wellness. I’ve learned that for me, stretching too far outside of my established boundaries is a sure-fire energy evaporator for me. I tend to take on a lot of work, projects, and people-helping endeavors. You’d be hard-pressed to invite me to lend a hand and hear me say no. Unless, of course, it violates one of my established boundaries and I can’t reconcile the difference. Preserving my peace and energy is how I can be effective, but fortunately, energy is a renewable resource.

By renewing this resource, I’m able to perform at a higher level. I will share my practices for maintaining energy, and I encourage you to spend a little time considering your own.

  1. I get outside, everyday, for at least an hour. This is usually the first hour of the day for me. I walk, run, or do an outdo