This morning, as I was rushing to get ready, I checked in on my social media and saw important words from a current friend and former client. She said, “Make sure you don’t lose yourself while you’re taking over the world”. Oh….that’s really funny to someone like me, who wakes up every morning with a list of challenges to overcome and tasks to get through. I literally thrive on the list. So taking over the world, as amusing as it is, is how I get from moment to moment in a day.
Now I know some of you don’t get this, while others are completely tracking with me. The reality is that we are all made up so differently that for some people this way of life is energizing while for others it is exhausting. In my training and work as a certified professional behavior analyst, I went through a lot of research and case studies about the different ways that people are wired. For me, I am wired for achievement and activation of projects. I get a blast of dopamine in my brain every time something big or small is accomplished. Checklists like this and this are incredible tools helping me maintain motivation.
Now other people are wired to be smooth and steady, to work through a process and page by page, box by box, verify every item before moving on. These people are so necessary to make the world go around as well. They are the worlds best accountants, lawyers, and chemists. I tend to be the big personality at the front of the room, moving everyone towards their next goal. Their next goal doesn’t necessarily have to be my next goal and order for me to experience a sense of accomplishment.
Now here’s where the brain gets fuzzy. I did a lot of research on achievement orientation and the imposter syndrome for my book, For She Who Leads, and what I discovered is that the highest achieving women struggle the most. Now, not to toot my own horn, but I’m a pretty high achieving woman. Two kids and a husband, two incredibly exciting and challenging careers running simultaneously. Lots of projects coming to completion. I’ve had some great experiences and have a lot of energy. The energy is natural, but I surely recharge it. Finding a place to be calm and recharge is just as important as finding a place to be active.
However, because of the way that I am made, I look at every day as an unrepeatable gift. I look at every talent that I have as something that I have a great responsibility to steward appropriately. I look at every person that I interact with through my work as the most important person of the moment. Being made this way can be exhausting if you don’t handle it appropriately and take time to recharge. Because I’ve had a lot of coaching in the past and had to do quite a bit of research and practice in order to become a certified coach, this all matters and it’s also something that I take into account when I start a new engagement with a client. The reality is, everyone is wired differently on purpose. What is critical is that we understand the way we are wired and know when to listen to either the still, small voice, asking us to slow down, or ramp up, and that we listen to the voices of others who care about us. So now that my clients, and friends, have become my coaches, I will give it some time.
How can I help you to make sure not to lose yourself as you take on the world?